During the two years that I was studying for my masters degree, I would meet two of my closest friends every Sunday morning at a local coffee shop. We’d spend an hour chatting, venting, gossiping, and catching up on our lives (or lack thereof) over bagels and coffee, before the conversations would inevitably tangent off onto random topics. I miss those chats – and the insights into my friends I’d gain through them. So I thought I’d try to restart something along those lines on my blog. A chance to hear more from my readers… at first, I was trying to decide if I wanted something consistent: quotes/sayings, song lyrics, random current or pop culture events…. But I think it will be more fun, more free to mix it up. Just whatever I’m dwelling on at the moment. Hope you all have as much fun with it as I do.
image from tumblr.com
I wish I could remember where I came across this picture the first time. I saw it somewhere approximately a week ago and over the course of the week it got under my skin. It’s become my theme of the moment, a thought that gets me through the day.
There are things that I can’t change. I can’t change my diagnosis. I can’t change its symptoms or the side effects of its treatments. When I say side effects, I mean all the side effects not just the medical side effects like weight gain. I mean the life side effects too. The results of hours and hours spent in bed: the effects on my grades and my relationships. Hobbies I can no longer really engage in. Experiences I don’t know if/when I’ll ever be able to enjoy again – hikes and so on.
I realized that if I spend all my time wishing things were different, I’d never really be happy. There are a million things that I wish I could change but can’t. Of course, this shift in mindset doesn’t change in a day. So I set the picture on my desktop and phone backgrounds as a constant reminder.
On the flip side, is choosing to just accept these symptoms akin to giving up on fighting them? Maybe railing against the disease’s suppressive effects is a psychological boost that helps my body fight this monstrosity. (see related post)