Do you ever wonder what your past self would think of who you are now?
10 years ago, I was on my second year of being too sick to work. My second year after being forced to leave med school because I was too sick to continue. There's some definite irony in the fact that the sick, who best understand what it's like to be a patient, are often too sick to be doctors.
I didn't know what I would even want to do after years of working toward and being in med school. Fact is, I didn't even know whether I was going to be able to work again.
I never could have predicted that I would go on to get an advocate. That I'd still be writing the blog I started when I flared in medical school. To have an instagram account to advocate and raise awareness (shared with my dog, no less!)
I'm not where I thought I would be, but I try to remember that my old plans didn't account for lupus. They didn't account for the fact that life often doesn't go as planned. That my one vision of my future doesn't have to be the only way forward.
But I think if I could see myself now, I'd be proud of who I've become. I'm proud of how far I've come. And, honestly, that's what really matters.
What about your life today do you think your past self would be most proud of?
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