“Love and Other Drugs”
image from wikipedia
I just watched this movie. It’s about a girl who has been diagnosed with early-onset Parkinsons disease, and is learning to deal with the implications of a life of debilitating chronic illness ahead.
She’s only a year older than me in the movie, so that was something that really hit close to home. Granted, she’s dealing with a different illness, but a lot of the underlying adjustment issues are similar. Most notable, in the movie, was the question of relationships and marriage.
Throughout the movie, Maggie is fighting to not only come to terms with her illness but also the implications it has on her life plans. This means figuring out how to deal with the illness and also how to deal with any future romantic relationships. This struck home for me. It’s something that I’ve personally been dealing with a lot lately. (I’m sure my poor friends @fragileannie and @kimbellybull could testify to this, as they are the ones who usually have to listen to me.)
All the symptoms, so many meds at so many times during the day, plus the doctors appointments and lab draws. Then there are the cancellations on previously made social commitments and the major changes to life plans post diagnosis. I mean, I can barely even manage to deal with my illness myself. My parents are clearly still coming to terms with my new life too.
With that in mind, how can I ask someone to sign up to deal with something that I can barely deal with myself? Aren’t relationships hard enough without all these extra burdens? It isn’t easy to watch someone live with pain and suffering. Is it really fair for me to ask someone to put up with all this extra pain?
Of course, being stuck at home doesn’t make it easy to find someone worth dating. As @fragileannie pointed out the other day, what I need is someone who likes to stay home a lot so he won’t be fussed that I need to be home a lot. Too bad both of us being home a lot makes it really hard for us to meet. Heh. The point is, though, I’m not really sure I’m even actively looking anymore. I’m not convinced it’s fair to the other person. I know enough people who struggle with their spouses/life partners/boyfriends/girlfriends/etc acceptance of their illnesses and limitations. That being said, I know enough people with chronic illnesses who do have happy, supportive relationships. So it’s possible. I guess this is something I’m still struggling with myself, but it was really interesting to watch this movie and watch how Maggie dealt with this issue.
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